Metal
by Giftless-Princess
Summary: Guns don't kill people. Guns don't kill dreams.


This is random and stupid and I am so sorry! Basically it's Harley Quinn's thoughts about Joker and her situation. It just sorta came to me. The song used is called 'I Will Survive' from the movie Holes. I don't like country music but this song is just epic! Reviews would be nice…so would a hug…..mew.

Oh and I'm sorry if this comes out looking strange, the format on Fanfiction isn't being nice to me today. Enjoy more angsty shit, if you can- GiftlessPrincess

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**Metal**

Guns. They are very interesting: they have the ability to kill any and all human life yet they don't. Guns don't have rage or grudges or malice. They are just cold lumps of metal.

I pick up my gun for what must be the millionth time but this time it feels different. Today feels different. It's one of those days where questions refuse to leave you alone.

'What have I done? Why was I doing this? Did I make the right choice? Did I choose the right life?'

I put my gun down again with a heavy sigh. I honestly don't know at the moment.

_Done a lot of things that I'm not so proud of.  
Took a lot of turns, turned out wrong.  
That's a worn out song.  
Day by day moment by moment.  
Takin my chances, trustin my heart.  
Wasn't too smart._

I bet he knows the answers. Joker always knows. But was he the right choice? This is my life right, so why should he control it?

_Lonely, as lost as I could be.  
No way it's up to me.  
_  
He's waiting for me. He's got another plan, he always has another plan. He says Gotham's going down and I'll be damned if I go down with it. What the hell have I been thinking? I'm a Quinn damn it! A Quinn never gives in! A Quinn has hope and strength and power!

_I will survive  
I will endure  
When the goin's rough  
you can be sure  
I'll tough it out  
I won't give in  
If I'm knocked down I'll get up again  
As long as my dreams alive  
I will survive_

He is my hope. He is my strength. The reason I'm alive but half dead is and has always been my Joker. Of all the face cards in the deck he had to be the Joker. The Joker doesn't have a match in the set does it? Sure there are two Jokers in the deck but they are identical. I don't want to be identical: I want to be loved and respect and…different. Why can't there be a lady harlequin jester with him? Damn these thoughts! No…this is my fault. I'm fine, I'm fine.

_Lettin go of my bad habits.  
Hangin on the hold for better times.  
I'll be fine._

Little girls have to pay for their crimes, everyone does. In this world we have to accept the good that comes with bad. How I wish things could be good more often! That's why I love Joker I guess. Because he has this belief that in divine chaos, he can change everything. Maybe he can change me too…I can feel myself crying. I wipe the wetness away, now's not the time for tears. Now's the time for work but I won't give up on him. Never.

_Learnin to sleep in the bed that I made.  
Laying the blanket where it belongs.  
I've gotta be strong.  
Tear drops no one sees but me.  
I won't stop, I'll always believe._What have I done? What am I doing? Why do I love him? Where do we go from here? I don't know but my Joker mine forever, for as long as he will have me and longer still. There's nothing he or that Batty Bastard can do to stop me from staying.

_I will survive  
I will endure  
When the goin's rough  
You can be sure  
I'll tough it out  
I won't give in  
If I'm knocked down I'll get up again  
As long as my dreams alive  
I will survive, yeah!_

Business with a crazed criminal has never been real easy. You deal with sin constantly, whether you're dealing it or it's what you've been dealt. Apparently, in this little game I've been given a bad hand but I refuse to fold. Folding is for the weak and cowardly. Folding is for the dead. I will never die for I am with him….or else I am already deadI pick the gun up once again. Is this the night where I finally do everyone a favor and die? Is tonight the night he'll say he loves me? Is tonight the night the Batman dies? Is tonight the night everything changes for the better, for chaos, for love?

As long as my dreams alive  
I will survive  
I will endure  
When the goin's rough  
you can't be sure  
I'll tough it out  
I won't give in  
If I'm knocked down I'll get up again  
As long as my dreams alive  
I will survive

_I will survive  
I will survive  
I will survive!_

Guns are funny things. While they don't live, they take lives. Why? Because I make them. Because in a world where death is just good business, someone has to pay for these crimes. It won't be me ever again. I have my love, whether or not he has me is unclear but that's sweet chaos in its purest form. What I'm saying to myself now is the truth: I'm gonna survive. My Joker is calling: the time for blood is now at hand. I kiss each bullet and place it into the cold gun. I imagine my heart has gone as cold as this metal. With a blissful smile, I shall kill because I have to on this path I chose, I'm not looking back. Maybe this isn't a gun, maybe I'm not a tool in a scheme. Right now, maybe we're just metal._  
_

_No I will survive!_

Yeah I will survive

I will survive

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You WILL review! I feel it! You are a nice person! ^.^-GiftlessPrincess


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